If anyone tells you that Star Trek is a sci-fi/fantasy story that shows what mankind is capable of in a post-scarcity economy, they’re wrong. Dead wrong. Real fans of the show know the central driving conflict of the Star Trek Universe: Kirk or Picard?
It's on, bitches.
Today on Combat Archeology, we look at how each captain in the Federation News Service has answered this question for him/her/itself.
Tipa, Leader of Our Fleet. God help us all.
I think the evidence speaks for itself:
The cavalier attitude toward dead ensigns, coupled with a trite note of sadness. The desire to romance the green skinned alien. Using sex as a political tool.The flagrant breakage of the Prime Directive. The ‘can do’ attitude.
Tipa’s a Kirk
woman Zhen/Shen all the way.
Lord in Heaven, this Vulcan is barred from stepping foot on Bajor (‘personal differences with the Kai’), wanted by two separate gangs of Orion slave traders and the Department of Temporal Investigations (‘they had it coming’), and maybe responsible for creating a whole new holographic species (‘safety protocols are for champs’). She’s clearly the bastard child of Kirk, or maybe sired by his Mirror Universe counterpart.
T'Andy. Bringing sexy back.
But it doesn’t stop there! Just like the real Kirk, there are spurious allegations that she ‘has a thing’ for her Vulcan first officer. Hell, there’s even fan art out there, people!
Kirk, definitely. The most Kirk of us all.
Great guy. Comes from a race of tall, blue people that possess a cool language. Seems to care about his crew. Takes his job really seriously. Visits Wolf 359 on every shakedown cruise.
Bryn Ave. This guy is awesome. Too awesome. Creepy awesome.
He’s a Picard guy. Maybe, eventually, Bryn will get an episode where he gets some actual characterization, revealing that he actually has a great passion for bassoon playing and sometimes wonders if he’s made the right choices in life. Or was that Riker?
As best I can tell, Longasc’s personal files are off limits to me (read: where the hell is your blog?!). As such, I don’t have any stories to go off of, only hearsay from other captains.
Longasc. The changing face of evil.
And what I hear is disturbing. Cloning other captains. Playing dress up with his crew. Experimenting on Mirror Universe doppelgangers.
I’m thinking… Dr. Mindbender.
Yes, that Dr. Mindbender.
Donovan Taggart Locke/Rowan Ashayam Starblanket (Rowan)
Locke and Starblanket. Clearly destined to be a couple.
Go read their stories yourself. It’d be a little unfair to simplify Rowan’s awesome, fleshed out characters into ‘Kirk’ or ‘Picard’ expies.
That said, with a middle name like Taggart…
If it’s not obvious, I’m really excited for Season Two to drop. The FNS is still around – which is awesome – and I can’t wait to start leveling up my new character. No offense was meant to anyone (or their virtual avatar!), and if I left someone out, let me know!