Foundry Mission: “Old, Unhappy, Far-Off Things”

After several days of tinkering around with the Foundry, I’ve published my first mission — “Old, Unhappy, Far-Off Things.” A training cruiser in the Wolf 359  is attacked by Nausicaan pirates; your ship responds to the hail and quickly figures out that things are not exactly as they seem.

The mission was inspired by one of the first Foundry missions I saw — a  Nausicaan farming mission out of Wolf 359. The Nausicaans are notoriously difficult to find in game, meaning that their kill achievement is all but impossible; a mission farming them was to be expected. But it was out of Wolf 359, the site of the famous first battle between the Federation and the Borg, which compounded the mission’s distaste.

But my interested was piqued, and I decided I’d try to tell a legitimate story about the Nausicaans and Wolf 359. I hope you enjoy.

A New Blog

Ladies and gents, I know that many of my loyal readers are pretty bored by my musings on EVE — they’re not very general, for starters. Anyways, I decided I’d make an EVE fiction focused blog, right here. My first post is a story in the first person, which is a big first for me — I usually rely on limited third person point-of-view.

Anyways, here’s to hoping I have the time to post more, both here and there.

The Narrow World

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus; and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs, and peep about
To find ourselves dishonourable graves.
– William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

The Amarrian glanced up, trying to not make eye contact (though the heavy hood made that unlikely) and stared at his office door. Through its glass, he could make out his name and title etched in frosted letters, and though from his seat the letters appeared reversed, he knew what they spelled out by heart: “Chakh Madafe, Military Adjunct-Advisor, Imperial Academy, Deepari II”. It was a position that, as a devout and loyal citizen of the Amarr Empire, Madafe was extremely proud to hold. But today had been especially trying—this morning had brought word that Savel Nabnela, an old friend, had been murdered by religious extremists, and now he was having to deal with this—and the only thought the military advisor could ruefully summon, was that a title’s length increased in an inverse relationship to its importance.

In front of him sat a street urchin. Or at the least, someone who should have been a street urchin, if there were any justice or order in the world. She was a Minmatar—probably a Vheroklor, by the looks of her. No Voluval tattoo, though—too young? Exiled? Madafe shook his head, realizing he was overthinking this; no member of the slave races deserved this much consideration.

Except that she was a capsuleer.

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The Federation News Service: Kirk or Picard?

If anyone tells you that Star Trek is a sci-fi/fantasy story that shows what mankind is capable of in a post-scarcity economy, they’re wrong. Dead wrong. Real fans of the show know the central driving conflict of the Star Trek Universe: Kirk or Picard?

It's on, bitches.

Today on Combat Archeology, we look at how each captain in the Federation News Service has answered this question for him/her/itself.

Tipa (Tipa)

Tipa, Leader of Our Fleet. God help us all.

I think the evidence speaks for itself:

The cavalier attitude toward dead ensigns, coupled with a trite note of sadness. The desire to romance the green skinned alien. Using sex as a political tool.The flagrant breakage of the Prime Directive. The ‘can do’ attitude.

Tipa’s a Kirk woman Zhen/Shen all the way.

T’Androma (GeeCee)

Lord in Heaven, this Vulcan is barred from stepping foot on Bajor (‘personal differences with the Kai’), wanted by two separate gangs of Orion slave traders and the Department of Temporal Investigations (‘they had it coming’), and maybe responsible for creating a whole new holographic species (‘safety protocols are for champs’). She’s clearly the bastard child of Kirk, or maybe sired by his Mirror Universe counterpart.

T'Andy. Bringing sexy back.

But it doesn’t stop there! Just like the real Kirk, there are spurious allegations that she ‘has a thing’ for her Vulcan first officer. Hell, there’s even fan art out there, people!

Kirk, definitely. The most Kirk of us all.

Bryn Ave (BlueKae)

Great guy. Comes from a race of tall, blue people that possess a cool language. Seems to care about his crew. Takes his job really seriously. Visits Wolf 359 on every shakedown cruise.

Bryn Ave. This guy is awesome. Too awesome. Creepy awesome.

He’s a Picard guy. Maybe, eventually, Bryn will get an episode where he gets some actual characterization, revealing that he actually has a great passion for bassoon playing and sometimes wonders if he’s made the right choices in life. Or was that Riker?

Longasc (Longasc)

As best I can tell, Longasc’s personal files are off limits to me (read: where the hell is your blog?!). As such, I don’t have any stories to go off of, only hearsay from other captains.

Longasc. The changing face of evil.

And what I hear is disturbing. Cloning other captains. Playing dress up with his crew. Experimenting on Mirror Universe doppelgangers.

I’m thinking… Dr. Mindbender.

Yes, that Dr. Mindbender.


Donovan Taggart Locke/Rowan Ashayam Starblanket (Rowan)

Locke and Starblanket. Clearly destined to be a couple.

Go read their stories yourself. It’d be a little unfair to simplify Rowan’s awesome, fleshed out characters into ‘Kirk’ or ‘Picard’ expies.

That said, with a middle name like Taggart

If it’s not obvious, I’m really excited for Season Two to drop. The FNS is still around – which is awesome – and I can’t wait to start leveling up my new character. No offense was meant to anyone (or their virtual avatar!), and if I left someone out, let me know!

Meet the Crew: Shahi Xerxes Khan

And when I reach the other side
I’ll find a place to rest my spirit if I can

– Rededication Plaque, U.S.S. Indomitable, 2407

A slave in the waning days of the Terran Empire, Shahi Xerxes Khan was literally worth her weight in gold-pressed latinum: the only thing matching her impressive name was her unsurpassed engineering skill. Unsubstantiated rumors – that she was the only survivor pulled from the wreck of a hyper-advanced, geometrically-shaped craft, that she was a biomechanical hybrid, that she could even directly interface with all types of machinery – only increased her value.

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